The moment when you know... This Is It

Yesterday was my first day of classes for this year. I actually had a lesson for each of my timetabled events this term (excluding the Special Project) so I know a little bit about how they're all going to work. I'm not dreading anything... yet. In fact I really think I'm going to enjoy everything.

At 9am was the "Ethnicity & Nationalism" lecture - a very unfriendly time, but once you're in there it doesn't really matter so much. I don't know why I didn't take this class in my second year as it's always been something I was interested in. Probably an issue with clashes or some such thing. By leaving it until now, it means I missed out on being taught  by Roger, as he's retired now. He was nothing short of a legend, everyone misses him. Instead, there's a new lecturer who started last year when I was away - Dimitrios. He's Greek, and was telling us how he's done fieldwork on multiple topics in multiple areas - I admire the ability to cover so much ground; even with my specific area of interest, I'm barely able to stretch my efforts to cover it [case in point: today was supposed to be dedicated to research].

How Izanagi and Izanami made the islands of Japan

He's basically started the course from scratch though, totally reorganised it, but y'know what? I think that's for the better. I heard Roger made you choose a place and devise your own essay question - that freedom would be perfect for me, I've always been one for doing what I like despite the lack of support I may face. But I know a lot of people that just don't work like that, and they struggled. Also, by leaving taking the class until now, I have an extra 2 years experience under my belt. That really does count for a lot. Time helps to shape your world view. And as adament as I may have been when I was just 15 that I was an adult, there is just so much you don't - that you can't - know. Even now. I'm only 22. For the seminar on Friday I have to either find a creation myth or a newspaper article thet refers to nationalism. I think I'll just sum up the Shinto creation myth - I'm already quite familiar with that.

After a 3 hour break (which eventually I will learn to use productively) I had my first Spanish class. All I learned in Spanish was "me llamo" (my name is) and "soy de" (I am from). It was just an introduction to the course really, and a way to introduce ourselves. However, the only people's names I remember are a guy called Oscar who sat next to me, and the teacher Manolo who is from Seville and, blatantly, a very proud Spaniard. I do enjoy languages though - I still can't tell whether I will struggle with Spanish or not (in comparison to 日本語). I'm happy to stick with it anyway.

Then after another 2 hour break was one of my core modules for this year: "Theoretical Perspectives in Social Anthropology". How inspiring! I can't emphasise what a suprise it was to leave that session feeling so excited. I didn't really know what the class was supposed to be about - all I knew was that it replaces the old theory lectures that just used to teach you the history of the subject. It may be very boring, but I don't know that stuff, and I can't help but feeling like I'm supposed to. Why though? This is the thing - the department are trying to make the subject, which doesn't really leave to a concrete career, more practical. One of the kookiest, but definitely favourite, staff in the department - Melissa - is leading it. She's decided to take some really old anthropological ideas like 'taboo', 'witchcraft' and something called 'virgin birth' (which I haven't come accross before) and look at how the ideas have been used over the years/ whether they are still relevant etc. She says that the way she will know whether the module has been succesful or not will be based on in a conversation, if we as anthropologists can blow people's minds when they say something that they just take for granted. Like: say there's a discussion about politics, of course everyone's complaining, and someone just says "but it's always been that way, it can never be any different"; I shuld be able to come back at them with "well, actually, in some Polynesian societies..." You get the idea.

This is why anthropology rocks.

And I can't wait to be able to do that.

Unfortunately today has slowed me down again - until I speak to my supervisor I'm reluctant to make a start on my project. Though I know there's an obscene amount I need to do in this term alone. Instead I've been worrying about living on a tight budget again. And deciding about societies. And eating too many skittles.

(Re)Freshers

Technically, this is my 5th year of undergraduate study (which is beyond ridiculous), so I'm very used to this so-called lifestyle. I generally know how things work, without being too involved - though I suspect the SU will forever remain a mystery - and I doubt there's anything that would surprise me now. Yet still, every year that I've been at Kent, I've gone to the Fresher's Fayre. It's just nice to see what's going on/ which societies are active. And I got to see some old acquaintances and Madeira (my old capoeira teacher) again after nearly 2 years! This, plus the glorious sunshine, made the crowds forgiveable. Here's a little taster:

The Fencers, and people queueing for coffee, outside the Venue

Inside the main marquee. Table after table vying for attention/new members

...Pretty self-explanatory. Didn't expect the pony though.

The crowd outside the 2nd marquee

 




 

Other then the first term of the first year, I really haven't gone to any societies. And since I'm supposed to be especially busy this year, I doubt I'll manage it this time either. But it's that energy, again, that I thrive on. Seeing people so enthusiatic about what they're doing. It's a great thing. I always want to learn new skills; maybe I just don't have the drive. Or the money. It always comes down to money. We'll see. I signed up to lots, not decided which ones I can 'fit in' or that I'm really bothered with.

I finished off the week by going to the 'Alternative Fresher's Ball' (not a ball at all by the way - that's kind of the point. I think some people missed it). This was organised by the Rock Soc - something else I always considered joining. Again though, I can't match their enthusiasm for music. And for the most part, it's metal they're into. I don't really like metal. Unless it's live. You can really feel it then. On this occasion there were 5 live acts. Me and Kay missed the first, and only went up to really watch 2 of the others. Being on the backburners for these kinds of things is no fun. Yeah, I'm not a mosher anymore, but I want to see everything! I'm really glad we got up to the front for the final act - Kyrbgrinder. They were something else. Music I could actually hear above the noise, involved with their audience, and a lead singer/drummer who can do some tricks on top of what is already quite impossible! Now that's skill.

Kyrbgrinder. Doesn't the bassist look reminiscent of Courtney B. Vance?

 

Apparenty Andreea (my final housemate who I haven't met yet) is also into this kind of thing. I really hope we go to see more live acts this year. In general I hope I'm more involved this year. I should plan some stuff out. Not today, today I'm too tired. That walk to and from campus is a killer as it is - try doing it twice in a day, both times after already being on your feet for hours! The distance to my house could prove to be a problem...

I have sort of missed one of the main purposes of societies: to meet people. People you have things in common with. That event was not the right setting for conversation, so it didn't happen. Maybe it wouldn't have, anyway, because like I mentioned, I don't share a passion for music. Or for anything. What am I passionate about? Do I just need a quick thrill every now and then? Maybe I actually will go to the caving society - the idea of it terrifies me, but maybe that's good.

I swear, my whole life is just this huge grey blur of things unknown...

Quiz Night

Today turned out to be far more eventful than I anticipated. I still haven't gotten any further than a spider diagram when it comes to my 'project' - this needs to be arranged into a question which can then be elaborated on in my abstract. See, I know what to do, it's just getting round to doing it. But anyway, today I met up with another friend who went to Japan (but to Waseda in Tokyo - an actually prestigious university, where I was just too scared to go!) and who just moved back to Canterbury yesterday - Myra. I thought it was only going to be quite a brief meeting. We wandered around Canterbury a little while before heading up to campus to try and get a timetable for Fresher's Week. Turns out that was online, so we could have gotten it anytime or place, but we went to the library to look over it. There's much more going on than I anticipated - I don't remember half this stuff from when I was a fresher! Maybe I just didn't know where to look. But anyway, we thought we may as well make the most of the time we have now. (don't worry - the work will get done. It always does)

The things we're going to do involve a forensic taster-day thing (why not?), Italian society (the description imples free food), fencing (to add a little excitement) and a quiz night, which was tonight. It didn't leave us enough time to go back to one of our houses for dinner, so we stayed on campus and ate at the Rutherford cafeteria. What a rip-off - in case you happen to find yourself there, just, don't. And then we wandered around campus some more to see what had changed. Though there are many small changes here and there, the biggest shock was Keynes.

Old Keynes (my room's at the top)

New Keynes

This is the college I technically belong to, and where I lived in my first year. First-off, the restaurant (where no student can afford to eat) has been modernised, and in my opinion ruined the park-like feel that it used to have sitting next to the pond. Behind the block where my room was located, the space has been vastly transformed with brand-new units of student housing. Good lord it's fancy. I do hope it costs an arm and a leg compared to perhaps the oldest accomodation on campus which lies directly next to it. Where's the equilibrium?! I could've lived there... had I just been a few years younger.

Scratch that, there's no knowing how things would be if I'd been born at a different time.

Oh, and as we made our way back round to the Gulbenkian where the quiz would be held, Campus Watch drove past us in a shiny Jeep. So that's what Kent does with all this money they're making. I don't really think that's what students want.

Myra and myself got a table inside. We were shortly joined by Steve, a good friend of hers who I have et a few times before. He spent a year abroad in Hong Kong, though I guess asking how it was isn't the best way to actually get information about it. I know this from first-hand experience. And then another guy - also named Steve - came in. I didn't (still don't really) know him. Other than he does Physics, has come back for a Masters, and got screwed over by Kent Hospitality thus leaving him temporarily homeless. The 2 Steves were saying something about how their names were spelt, whether it was with a "v" or a "ph" when in full, and what this supposedly means (all in jest of course). I couldn't quite hear them though to really know what the point was, or which they were. For some reason I picture them as "v"s. My Dad's a "ph".

The 'organisers' (if that's what you can call them) then told us we needed a bigger team, and put 4 Chinese girls with us. One of them soon disappeared. I felt bad for the rest, because although their English is very strong, they didn't really understand most of the quiz. For most of the time we didn't really get to talk to them either - they were clearly happy speaking in Mandarin. Then right at the end of the quiz, for whatever reason, me and Myra decided to see what kanji we could remember. The Chinese girls noticed:

"Oh! You can write Chinese?"

Us: "Well, no, to us this is Japanese"

Them: "Oh, I see. Well, a lot of them are the same"

We tested this out. They were really impressed with what we could do. I was kind of disappointed by how much I'd forgotten. I think I could pick it up again with practice. Kanji is really very logical - once you're taught how to see them. But, with this, it dawned on me that I can actually write Chinese. Not so much in that it would get me very far - I couldn't even compose a sentence. But knowing the characters are a start.

As you've noticed the quiz itself wasn't very important. I did focus on the questions - turns out I'm quite competetive, maybe I am an Aries afterall. Thing is we never got the answers, they were just marked for us with 1st, 2nd and last places announced. The questions were mainly stupid to begin with. We then walked home. I went with them so far but then had to go a different direction alone. The way we went was down to St Stephen's Road, which isn't a way I have often been. I was slightly apprehensive of being lost but soon recognised a few landmarks. I think it's quite an interesting part of Canterbury, at least in the dark. It's almost very countryside-ish. There's one particular section of road with just a few cast iron lamp posts and a red brick wall backing onto a park. I wish I had my camera with me. I'll take it up to campus tomorrow as there a few pictures I want to take for this post.

I'm off to bed now though. I look forwards to going to regular quizzes with Myra on a Sunday this year.

Yeah, we're cool.

One Week In

It's been a fairly eventful week, although it's about to slow down again. I met my first new housemate, which went suprisingly well. I say that because in most other circumstances, it would have been far too easy for me to fall back into my natural awquard state and just not... mix. But Kay's quite an outgoing person. A nice one (yes, sometimes I can find them a little intimidating, not this time though). And it turns out we're both into film - our tastes aren't exactly the same, but they overlap. So since neither of our terms have begun yet, we've both been bored and spent the evenings watching films together, and generally just talking. Isn't that nice? ^_^ Today's actually the first day I haven't really seen her much - she's decided she needs to be productive and so has been working (possibly) hard in her room. I was supposed to, too. But that didn't happen. I'm only just getting round to writing this and I meant to much earlier. What on earth have I been doing?? Old habits die hard, as the saying goes.

This week I also met up with one of the girls on my course who went to Kansai Gaidai: Sarah. It really is nice to have people who shared an experience with you; although they were still very different experiences. Not that we even talked about Japan - it's just an unspoken understanding. I mentioned the brief job I had over summer, and as it turns out, she also worked for the Cobra group briefly last summer. Apparently I lasted longer than her - why didn't I just give up sooner? It was never going to work! I must just be too stubborn. Its weird that I still miss the office atmosphere though. I just loved the energy and found the whole thing... fascinating. Anyway, we talked a little about our respective final year project/dissertation. Yet another person who's a better student than me. And we also both helped out our department at an Open Day, which was yesterday.

How did I forget how much I love the anthropology department!? It does have its problems - mainly organisation, which is hardly unique. But it's not a subject that anyone does if they don't have a passion for it. That really shows. I was out in the Sports Hall just being available for any future students' questions that relate to my experience, and I could direct them over to the table where some of the lecturers were sat for more specific inquiries. The staff changed roughly every hour, so I got to see a fair few of them, having not seen them for over a year. I was so suprised, and so touched, that some of them remembered me. One lecturer in particular who was my Seminar leader for only one module in the first year! I just think that they see so many students, how could they possibly remember? Maybe I have been more involved than I initially thought. And then my supervisor came by. I chose well. She told me that it was her idea to offer the extended assignment to those of us in Japan when the earthquake happened, so that we'd have the option to come back without worrying. She's just so supportive. And I don't think she's oblivious to the fact that I can be lazy, I've been honest about that, but then she knows my record and that I've never missed a deadline. I wouldn't say my work's poor quality either, though I feel I could improve on it. [I really need to stop wasting days like today]. I really am keen to get back into the swing of things now. I might be dreading saying this when the time comes to it, but hurry up and pass next two weeks!!!

There are no plans for another Open Day before October/November even, and so there won't really be anything else for me to do. Except read. If I got a page read every time I just thought about working, I would be so much further ahead... Oh, and it's Sarah's birthday one day next week; we're supposed to be going for a meal, and that might be another good opportunity to meet new people!

Final thought for now: something before reminded me that it's festival (or 祭り : matsuri) season in Japan now. One of my favourite ever events in the entire year was the danjiri matsuri we went on a fieldtrip to see around Korea Town, in Osaka. I wanted to hunt down every festival like that afterwards, not realising the huge variety in Japanese festivals, and that they all tend to be just in Autumn and Spring (to do with harvests and fertility). It's hard to explain what really grabbed me about this event. But I want to go back now. I guess, just like my sales job, it was the energy. Like in capoeira, it's essential to have axe. I'd also really like to go back to that society this year - I was only with them for one term in my first year, but I loved my Muzenza family.

Energy's like a drug.

Slow Going

I’m back in Canterbury now, in my new house. New to me that is, not new build. All on my lonesome (not that that’s much of a change to back in Salford, even when my brother’s home too). I don’t know why moving is so exhausting – it’s not like I have to do much. I think it’s just a mental thing, especially since I’d never seen this house before and I didn’t know how to judge it. But it’s really very nice, and an insurmountable improvement on the year before last. There’s no TV and we don’t have the internet quite sorted out yet, so the house has been very quiet. Except for the different house sounds. They made me a little nervous. That, and the landlady who was a little... overbearing. Don’t get me wrong, she was pleasant, but I really only needed to know how the boiler worked and where the mains were; yet she proceeded to locate every single thing in the house and demonstrate how to lock the door. Please, love, give me a break. Anyway, after she left, and my dad helped me unpack some things before he left himself, it was just up to me to adjust. I lay on my new bed and started to read Richard Lewis’ autobiography. I got roughly 30 pages in before I fell asleep. I’m such a bad reader. Yet, I realised in those 30 pages that his writing style is just so similar to my own – conversational, for lack of a better word. And his mentality isn’t too far off my own either. If such a thing as a kindred spirit exists: he’s mine (or one of mine – I wouldn’t want to make that exclusive). Oh, if I were born in a different time and place...

That’s not really even one of the books on my reading list – it’s just for my own interest. Today I woke up early (relative to when I have been getting up) due to my crashing out so early the night before. Headed out to get a few groceries without a meal plan of any sort, so it’s just cupboard stuff and freezeable items. They’ll get used eventually. And then for lack of any other ideas, I finally picked up one of my books for researching my special project. This particular book caused me one hell of a crisis when I found it online. It’s Larissa Petrillo’s “Being Lakota: Identity and Tradition on PineRidge Reservation”. I had said for years beforehand how if I were to become a professional anthropologist, I would want to work with the Lakota of Pine Ridge on issues of identity – so to find that it had been done already was crushing. As an anthropologist, you really do have to stake your claim to ‘your people’. I was slightly wrong though, as this book is a case study/life history and focuses more on the Sun Dance, touching on feminist issues. Not exactly what I had in mind. What did I have in mind? I’m not exactly sure, it’s very vague. I clearly haven’t done near enough research into this. I’m such a fail academic. It doesn’t help that reading sends me to sleep. Why can’t every source of knowledge be in documentary form??

1 chapter down (I’m already a few chapters in, thankfully) and I gave up. I wanted to head up to campus. This house is further out from the centre than I’m used to – about a 20 minute walk, which isn’t too bad, but wait until we get to the middle of winter. I suddenly noticed how much of an inner-city girl I must be, with the pace I was walking compared to everyone else, and the lack of attention I was really giving to anything around me. It’s just an effective way of getting from A to B as far as I’m concerned. I wonder if that ruins the ambience of this quaint little city that so many tourists come to see. I’d forgotten about them: traffic! I didn’t do anything interesting once I got to campus. Just found out the module codes so that I can take Spanish (still don’t have a timetable btw), and then went to the library to use the internet. The lobby’s changed a fair bit – for some reason I didn’t have to scan my ID to get in, but the turnstile things were still there. Figure that out as we go. I used the coffee machine in Essentials on my way back to try and address my current grogginess, and had the manager [I think] stand pretty much over my shoulder, asking “is it any good?” – I don’t know, I’ve not got it yet! He asked because the machine was new; well then you’d better hope it’s good, it cost more than the old one.

Canterbury: off the highstreet, leading to the cathedral.

From the blog "Let's Visit"

Well, right now I’m sat at my new desk just finishing up my day. If only I had more to do/prepare. It’s not my fault anymore – I’m waiting on other people. I’ve just read a little more tonight, trying to narrow down what exactly to do with identity I want to study. In the vague sense that my ideas exist right now, it’s to do with how people accept their identity. How they relate to being what they are. Where do I even begin? That’s internal, and I can only objectively research the outward expression. Tricky. I’ll have it sorted in a couple of weeks, ready to speak to my supervisor (though I already asked for her advice, with no reply). Then just to get on with the actual work. Once I’m putting things down on paper [well... screen] I’ll be happier.

Time for some more Prince of Pain memoirs. Good night x

(P.S. I wrote this Thursday – had to wait to post it. I wonder what I’ll do/did do on Friday?)

This is the last post before things really get started...

... and you've no idea how really eager I am for things to start. So much nothingness!

But, I move back to Canterbury in 2 days. I've had a stack of books on the arm of my chair for months that I just didn't read. Hopefully I actually will once I'm out of here, making use of the 3 weeks I'll have before classes start. That's something else I'd like to sort out - I am already registered for my modules, but I want to change a couple, and it would be especially nice to see a timetable. I've recieved nothing from Kent, not even in regard to things I've requested. How useless. There's little wonder I'm mainly uninvolved in university life. It's just another thing to get out of the way.



I don't want to be so negative, really. Every year I start with renewed hope and the best of intentions; these rarely come to fruition. Funnily enough this was mentioned in a speech by Nick Clegg on education that I partially read before. Everything there sounded good, there wasn't too much to disagree with, and I do believe that all politicians have good intentions. Things just aren't as simple as they are on paper (and in their situation it's just impossible to please everyone - I don't have to worry about that; only thinking of myself here).

There's just no fight left in me, is there? And I've already lost focus...

What am I writing again?

I've generally been lacking in any kind of thinking recently. It's exhausting being bored. I need the new year (even though it can only ever be so new when it's still England and a city I've lived in for 2 years already). But in spite of my incessant pursuit of novelty, things keep cropping up that remind me of past plans: failed.  I don't think I've mentioned here that right before I left Japan, I'd booked a 4-day trip to Mongolia to learn to ride a horse out on the Steppe (with this company). Where better?! The earthquake happened just a couple of weeks before I was due to go, and that changed a lot. However it wasn't the only reason I didn't go in the end: it's almost painful to admit this, but I made a really stupid mistake in not properly looking into visa requirements. Why didn't I know that Mongolia was part of China? Of course you would need a visa! How I was supposed to ever get that organised from Osaka is a tricky one; but that doesn't matter now. Anyway, since I came back home there have been an unsettling amount of occurences reminding me that I never got to go. They're just stupid little things, like it being the answer in a quiz show, or it being mentioned on a travel programme - the worst was that when I was in the sales job, the office was based above a Mongolian restaurant (note to self: go to eat there next time you're home). It's still on my list of places to visit, though (imagining there is such a list).

Beautiful Mongolia. Taken from the Guardian online

Another thing that's only come up in the past couple of weeks, after mentioning it in my last post, is my dream to work with animals. A few days ago I met up again with a friend in Manchester. As we were walking around, we came to a stall in the markets near Picadilly Gardens that was full of wildlife photography. They were stunning, but what enthused me more was that the woman who took them had studied the subject at degree level, and then got to spend time out in Africa with the animals. I said that when I was a child, I wanted to be a zoo keeper and that I would still probably enjoy it. Now, I have gotten a little more intelligent, and even though I don't particularly have a head for science I'd decided that if that were the path my life headed down, then I would like to work on a breeding programme. It's a vital part of what zoos do, and I like the idea of giving so much attention and energy to just one species, making sure to get it right. I caught the end of a programme on BBC1 last night entitled "Nature's Miracle Babies"... it's just too perfect; it's like fate is taunting me. I like to think that I still have these options if nothing else really happens for me. I know it's unrealistic; but it's better to have ideas than be stuck. What would my species be? I've always been into large carnivores: the big cats, wolves, hyenas, bears... but in my first year of uni I wrote an essay on the importance of the Buffalo to Native Americans. That seems like a really worthwhile project. But then, when it comes to endangered species, what wouldn't be worthwhile?

The elusive and critically endangered Clouded Leopard (neofelis nebulosa).
Taken from ARKive.org

Y'know, "what if?" is a really interesting question when you've got nothing else to think about.

Time for that to change.