... and you've no idea how really eager I am for things to start. So much nothingness!
But, I move back to Canterbury in 2 days. I've had a stack of books on the arm of my chair for months that I just didn't read. Hopefully I actually will once I'm out of here, making use of the 3 weeks I'll have before classes start. That's something else I'd like to sort out - I am already registered for my modules, but I want to change a couple, and it would be especially nice to see a timetable. I've recieved nothing from Kent, not even in regard to things I've requested. How useless. There's little wonder I'm mainly uninvolved in university life. It's just another thing to get out of the way.
I don't want to be so negative, really. Every year I start with renewed hope and the best of intentions; these rarely come to fruition. Funnily enough this was mentioned in a speech by Nick Clegg on education that I partially read before. Everything there sounded good, there wasn't too much to disagree with, and I do believe that all politicians have good intentions. Things just aren't as simple as they are on paper (and in their situation it's just impossible to please everyone - I don't have to worry about that; only thinking of myself here).
There's just no fight left in me, is there? And I've already lost focus...
What am I writing again?
I've generally been lacking in any kind of thinking recently. It's exhausting being bored. I need the new year (even though it can only ever be so new when it's still England and a city I've lived in for 2 years already). But in spite of my incessant pursuit of novelty, things keep cropping up that remind me of past plans: failed. I don't think I've mentioned here that right before I left Japan, I'd booked a 4-day trip to Mongolia to learn to ride a horse out on the Steppe (with this company). Where better?! The earthquake happened just a couple of weeks before I was due to go, and that changed a lot. However it wasn't the only reason I didn't go in the end: it's almost painful to admit this, but I made a really stupid mistake in not properly looking into visa requirements. Why didn't I know that Mongolia was part of China? Of course you would need a visa! How I was supposed to ever get that organised from Osaka is a tricky one; but that doesn't matter now. Anyway, since I came back home there have been an unsettling amount of occurences reminding me that I never got to go. They're just stupid little things, like it being the answer in a quiz show, or it being mentioned on a travel programme - the worst was that when I was in the sales job, the office was based above a Mongolian restaurant (note to self: go to eat there next time you're home). It's still on my list of places to visit, though (imagining there is such a list).
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| Beautiful Mongolia. Taken from the Guardian online |
Another thing that's only come up in the past couple of weeks, after mentioning it in my last post, is my dream to work with animals. A few days ago I met up again with a friend in Manchester. As we were walking around, we came to a stall in the markets near Picadilly Gardens that was full of wildlife photography. They were stunning, but what enthused me more was that the woman who took them had studied the subject at degree level, and then got to spend time out in Africa with the animals. I said that when I was a child, I wanted to be a zoo keeper and that I would still probably enjoy it. Now, I have gotten a little more intelligent, and even though I don't particularly have a head for science I'd decided that if that were the path my life headed down, then I would like to work on a breeding programme. It's a vital part of what zoos do, and I like the idea of giving so much attention and energy to just one species, making sure to get it right. I caught the end of a programme on BBC1 last night entitled "Nature's Miracle Babies"... it's just too perfect; it's like fate is taunting me. I like to think that I still have these options if nothing else really happens for me. I know it's unrealistic; but it's better to have ideas than be stuck. What would my species be? I've always been into large carnivores: the big cats, wolves, hyenas, bears... but in my first year of uni I wrote an essay on the importance of the Buffalo to Native Americans. That seems like a really worthwhile project. But then, when it comes to endangered species, what wouldn't be worthwhile?
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| The elusive and critically endangered Clouded Leopard (neofelis nebulosa). Taken from ARKive.org |
Y'know, "what if?" is a really interesting question when you've got nothing else to think about.
Time for that to change.
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