Whilst we're Re-capping... let's speak "Purpose"

I went back to my first post from two years ago, and then read a couple more, until I've at least skimmed all my entries. I can't believe I set out just to document "my last year in limbo" - it's almost laughable! It has to be, otherwise it's actually quite depressing.

Two years later, I'm in much the same situation as I was then. I have my degree, and it hasn't changed a darned thing. If anything, now that reality has dawned on me a little more, mixed with the limits of the ongoing recession, my drive has diminished, and my focus is even more askew.

I can see how my knowledge has grown. Some of the early posts seem quite immature. Well, is it immature? Or just uninformed? I knew my interest in Native Americans was based in romanticism, but I was taking it seriously. It just reads a little... naiive, I guess is the word. Now I'm not so naiive, and I still believe that I won't really know anything about their lives until I get the chance to go there. And then what? I'm also now painfully aware how established Native American Studies is as a discipline, and feel it would be too much for me to catch-up whilst coming up with a unique research project, if I were to ever pursue anthropology again. So, is that written off?

What about practical career plans? It wasn't until late on in that "final year" that cultural heritage occurred to me as a potentially rewarding option. Considering I have no background in it, I've actually done alright to get some experience. But, with the latest set of rejections, coupled with the knowledge I already had about the industry relying on volunteers; whatever few paid positions they have tend to go to people with post-grad qualifications in a relevant subject (namely Museum Studies); I feel like I'm back to square one. This is essentially the same thing that happened when I realised I'd never get to work with animals.

I'm not short of ideas, I never have been. The problem is sticking with them, or if I don't want to simply put it down to my flakey-ness, the problem of affording to pursue them. I mentioned just yesterday that I'm going to write about my skills crisis, i.e the ways in which I've been looking to develop myself further. I will. That and more.

I just wanted to round things off.

And perhaps my going to New Zealand makes a little more sense.

I need new.